looking forward to the weekend

well, i'm in the middle of exam week... only i don't think my mind has wrapped itself around that. instead of studying yesterday, i had a hot laundry date and went to the movies to see the chronicles of narnia with friends. what a great movie.

last week was amazing. on my birthday i had fun shopping with t, and then playing pool and going out for dinner with friends. lesley and i couldn't have had a better birthday really, unless someone proposed to us and gave us diamonds... but you can't have it all. friday was also a lot of fun, a mini sloth fest, but we left the apartment so it didn't really count.

i can't wait though for saturday night for the big party! it will be soooo much fun... only 4 sleeps till the party!!!

tagged twice... crap

so two of my friends have tagged me. in this game of tag i'm suppose to tell you 10 random facts about myself. well since i got tagged twice i guess that means i'll write 20 random facts... i'm a very random person so i'm sure i'll have no problem with this.

1. my biggest fear is having a train fall off a bridge on to me, you will notice that i take this very seriously and will cry if i have to stop under the bridge or if someone thinks it is funny and stops to bug me i will cry and sometimes bolt or even on a rare occasion almost puke.

2. i'm not gracefull (which isn't random, but it is the truth) but i was a ballerina when i was little.

3. when i swim i like to yell underwater while i'm doing laps just so i can hear something.

4. clutter stresses me out, but i get so stressed by the clutter that i just sit and look at it, and that is the real reason my apartment is always a mess.

5. i like to race cars off the line, although i know i'll never win, its a lot of fun. and i want to pimp my car out, but refuse to spend money like that.

6. i spent my whole childhood trying to seperate myself from the hicks around me, and now all i want to be is a hick.

7. i ate dry dog food when i was little, and i liked it.

8. i love getting bills in the mail cause it reminds me that i'm grown up.

9. i hate scrambled eggs cause they get cold so quickly it grosses me out.

10. sometimes when i look in the mirror it scares me, not because i'm ugly, but due to the fact that its not what i picture myslef looking like.

11. my favourite time of year is winter, after a new snowfall, it makes me feel like a completely new start, and its always so fun to play in.

12. i fear getting old, not for what i'll look like, cause i can't wait to have wrinkles, but i fear that i will become imbittered and mean.

13. if i see a good candy on the floor i have to hold myself back becuase i really want to pick it up and eat it, even though its very gross (just so you know i have never picked them up)

14. when i answer the phone i seceretly hope its someone to tell me i've won the lottery

15. part of me wants to become a hermit in a little cabin in the woods, with no bills to pay, and just live off the land and barter for the things i can't get myself.

16. i wish i was back in ireland everyday.

17. i hate playing with barbies, i'm more of a g.i. joe fan.

18. i loved wwf when i was little but get mad at the dumb new characters.

19. i make cookie dough for a snack when i really want a treat.

20. i want a tatoo but i'm too afraid to get one.


so there are some random facts, some of them you already may have known, other's may be new. i hope it kept you entertained.

jen has spoken

when jen tells you its time to update, really its way past time to update so here you go. i've been busy, i've gone to a couple concerts, i've had gross idiotic guys hit on me at these concerts. i've gone to school, i've got a 90% average YEAH! i've gone on a date with a guy from school... oopps. i've gone away with my mom and sisters for the weekend... that was fun. i accidently set my clock to the wrong time and was late for class. i have a pain in my back. i bought new winter boots, which are cool. i made banana bread. i've recieved more bills than i'm willing to pay. i left my frozen yogurt out and it melted. i bought the piano sheet music to my favourite song online. i recieved my "vegetables are people too" shirt in the mail. i also recieved my mystery shirt in the mail that reads "save a horse, ride a hot dog" with a picture of a hotdog dressed like a cowboy on the front (needless to say i won't be wearing that). i had someone suggest going away to bible college to find myslef a husband, because i'm hopeless on my own... see begining of this blog for examples of how bad i am. i've pick a fight with an gross old man in a bar cause he grabed my butt. i got a cool new winter jacket. i bought one of the many christmas presents i need to buy. i fell off an exercise ball twice in three days for the amusment of my friends. the resses pieces candy machine wouldn't give me any candy today, and i was willing to pay. i got an email from an old friend that i miss a lot. i met up with a crazie guy from an even crazier band that i haven't seen in a long time. i went to the movies and the bulb blew so i didn't get to see it all. i drove through a bad snowstorm, saw 2 jack knifed tractor trailor, and one snow plow out of gas. i found my chapstick (very important). i got into the passes only section with a smile and a nod. i spent quality time with my bunny. and most importantly, i've laughed everyday, and that's what makes life good.

i'm home...

i'm glad to be home, i missed my apartment. in fact mostly i missed my bed and my bunny bunny. but now that i'm home i feel more rested. i have many stories to tell, but not right now, tomorrow i will tell my stories.... but for now have a great day

missing home

so, i went toronto last night for renegade show... more on that some other time... but i miss home, i'm in lindsay this week to get work done and save some gas... just so you guys at home know, i miss you.

ouch...

after a busy day at work yesterday i was heading for home and i get a text message... "u up 4 football?"... it seems earlier in the week i had half heartedly agreed to play football on saturday. so i went home and changed and went to play some football. well foolishly when i agreeed to play football i for some reason thought that some of my female friends would be showing up as well... nope not the case... it was me and the boys. and due to my lack of ability of catching and throwing a football we switched to frisbee. well i'm still suck at frisbee even though i played on the ultimate frisbee team in highschool, which may i add was like 5 years ago (man i'm old). but even though it isn't suppose to be a contact sport i ended up being tackled or instigating a tackle... and one unfortunate incidence of an inappropriate follow through in which t ended up in the fetal position on the ground. sorry t, i didn't mean to... i swear.

but here are somethings i learned about playing football/frisbee with the boys.

1. when you wear a yellow shirt, everyone else including the spectator will be wearing Burgundy.
2. when you drop the frisbee on the ground someone's dog will try to grab it.
3. frisbee shouldn't be played in a park where dogs run free.
4. at least one person will step in poop in the dog park
5. you will always forget where the big holes are when running in a hurry and will fall in
6. someone if not two people will be hit in the head with the football/frisbee
7. when given the perfect opportunity to help your team score, a scary dog will come running at you
8. if you use temporary goal posts ie. a hat, some dog will run away with them
and most importantly
8. when there is a tie and the next point decides it, the other team will conveniently forget to tell you that "this point ends the game"

CHEATERS!!!!

hehehehe

what if life was exactly like a dr. suess book?

oh my i'm one of those

i've become what i hate the most, well maybe not the most. but i've become that person that never updates their blog!! so for that i'm ashamed and sorry.

learned a couple things recently

1. when looking for possible boyfriends you will be surrounded by great guys that are just your boy friends.
2. when you feel like crap and want to call in sick, someone else will beat you to it.
3. when being set up, each one will be worse than the one before.
4. when m.c.ing an event you will always forget the really important things... like how to use a mic
5. when discussing drugs someone will always walk in at the complete wrong moment
6. when you don't expect someone that is the most likely time that they will show up
7. when your closet explodes on your couch you will get company
8. when you need to be some where desperately your car will brake down.
9. when everything is going wrong it will continue to go wrong and get worse.
10. when you don't want your chapstick its always around and when you desperately need it, it will be missing

later

great eats

sometimes when i get lazy and i have to clean my tub i just have a bubble bath... the tub gets cleaned and i get cleaned all at the same time! just joking i cleaned it first i promise. but i always forget how much i love baths. they are sooo relaxing, and put me in a great mood... and plus i have an honest excuse not to answer the phone or door or do homework or such. i just kick back and read a good book!

enough about the bath. tonight i met with two great ladies for some food and drinks, what a great way to end a day! mmmm the food was great... but tomorrow i'm going to stop eating junk food until dec.1st. no more junk, i need to keep myself in a good place until christmas season so i can eat with no fear. yeah christmas~!!!!

coming soon to a place near you.... RUM BALLS!!! mmmmm!!!! yeah for the holiday season.

because everyone else is doing it...

so this is the amanda needs section. it has been done on my friends blogs where you go to google and type in "(your name) needs" and see what pops up. so here some of the stuff that i personally need... apparently

amanda needs a mom in her corner with a lot of time and attention to give her.
amanda needs needs the local food bank to put food on the table for herself.
amanda needs gnutar?
amanda needs needs to be rebuilt.
amanda needs to be loved.
amanda needs operator disk ownership.
amanda needs to suck on a pacifier to clear her ears.
amanda needs a small config change.
amanda needs a wise friend to tell her this too shall pass.

and the best by far...

amanda needs to be out in public, not acting slutty, so we can have more pictures of her.

but if i change it to manda needs, its equally as fun

manda needs a nap.
manda needs a girlie.
manda needs to come over to my swinging bachelor pad.
manda needs to write a story.
manda needs to give my shirt back.
manda needs to stay the ways she is coz she rocks.
manda needs to play more games and we shall save her.
manda needs to chill out coz she wrote on the wall too.
manda needs to eat healthier.
manda needs all the beauty sleep she can get.

and

manda needs a spidey outfit to go with that spidey web.


that was fun!

jen is the hero of today/tomorrow

a great round of applause goes to jen who reminded me that the clocks go back tonight! i would have shown up for work 1hr early.... bad really bad. thanks jen.

and on a side note, does anyone know how to make my life resemble something that would be even remotely close to being normal?

hey matthew i came good on the promise!

i spent the last weekend in toronto and as many of you know toronto is not always my favourite place to be. but it was a great trip. this time i didn't get into a car accident, in fact i didn't have any close calls really. so does that mean i'm becoming more accustomed to toronto driving or are torontonian's learning how to drive? i'm not really sure.

meals and i did a lot of shopping, tons in fact. i just want to say that mec is one of my favourite places ever! so lots of money blown and more importantly than that i got to hang with friend's i haven't seen in years. but i have a new favourite food.... shwarma's.... mmmmmm shwarma's. i think that it wasn't all about the food, it was the interesting conversations with people walking by. one guy was convinced that he had been rolling in a snowbank... and for those of you that think canada is always covered in snow its not... this guy was covered in grass and dirt and when questioned about it he calmly said "its ok it will melt." good times at the shwarma place.

i spent one night at moo's house and lets just say, it is sketchy when a driveway is between two houses and its not much wider than a van. but i saw a van backed down it... let me just say that's talent!

what's with being sick

i guess i really don't mind being sick... but if i'm going to be sick i would rather be really sick where i need to stay in bed and where there is a real excuse not to do anything. i've been sick since friday but not sick enough to stop doing anything, just sick enough to feel a bit crummy and to sound really gross. basically i think you should either do something right or not do it at all. so tomorrow if i'm still not better and i'm still not really sick then i'm going to go and play in the rain... maybe then i'll have a real excuse to do nothing.

for all the single girls cheer up!

somewhere there's a monument to the love that you haven't found yet, the love of your life and the shape of your future, dischargning ions into our skin through the dark. he is the span of the rainbow you see before waking. the first touch of air on your body each morning. the word that you say without speaking. the prayer that you made before life. he is the space of tomorrow.

the spill of conscience
the fill of desire
the spell of your name

he is the love you remembered at birth. the love you will make after dying. somewhere it waits for you, love that is not of this earth. where the sky ends. where memory pales. where eternity is. almost heaven

-marianne wiggins

not leaving home until oct31

just so you know, i'm glued to my tv from here on in. i have the food network free for 28 more days, and i'm getting the most out of it!

pray for juan

so today is the perfect day to demonstrate my hiccup ability. not only are my chronic hiccups at their finest but, my day encountered a great hiccup itself.

first of all last week one of my great friends took juan, my car to his work and looked it over and fixed a couple things that needed to be fixed before warranty is over. thankyou mark!!! you're the greatest!

well today juan and i left school and headed for home, we got down to the main highway and stopped for a light. when the light turned green we stayed stopped. apparently juan had stalled. how embarrassing! he started up again and we made it all the way home, but i think juan is sick. he isn't functioning well. so please pray for juan.

on a sadder note, apparently something tragic has happened at the rez at school, my guess would be suicide. so please pray for everyone involved.

sorry again

i believe i promised a good post by the end of the weekend... and to my surprise...i forgot. so tonight i promise, when i'm procrastinating from cleaning my apartment and from studying for my tests this week i will write.... oh and i love being a pirate just so you know.

so sorry

i'm sorry i haven't updated as of late. its been crazie trying to gwet use to my new routines of school, work, volunteering and finding time for myself and my friends. i promise before the weekend is out i will have a great blog for you all to read, laugh and shed a tear at.

i love gilmore girls

i just wanted you to know that. thankyou for your time.

the magic of osap... really they are magicians...

here's my osap time line... and i'll let you be the judge of where money dissappears to while waiting for it.

spet. 6:
-spent 1hr waiting in line to sign papers for osap (late for 2nd class due to this)

sept. 7:
-osap recieves my forms and processing begins.
-first snag apparently i have to pay left over interest from previous balance before they will release new osap (why they can't just take money from new loan i'll never know?)
-tansfer right amounts of money into osap's hands (i just gave money to get money, my mom warned about scams like this)they say it will take 2 business days to see this in their computer's... umm where did the money go for 2days?

sept. 9:
-in theory osap should have my money... should... but i don't know maybe its still on vacation somewhere
-now they say it will take 2 days to figure out new loan (what were they doing the last 2 days?) we hit a weekend so in theory all loan should be proccesed by the 13

sept.13:
-loan in fact not processed by this day

sept. 14:
-loan actually processed and released to my bank... and now for the super duper trick it will take 5 buisness day to be reflected in my account... 5 days... where is it? i asked the bank guy this and he wasn't sure either.

sept.16:
-wondering where my money may be... wondering if its having a good time... wondering if its eating well, or if it has clean clothes or gas for its adventures cause i'm not, i need to learn this magic.

the best part... if i'm a day late making a payment to osap, i'm in deep crap, i get charged extra, i get a bad credit mark etc. ... if they are late giving me the money... too bad for me. oh and best part, i thought i was paying interest of prime + 2% but really i'm paying prime +2.5%.... so i was thinking... do you think i can open my own osap business? they seem to be making a lot of money off of me, i'm just thinking how much money i could be making off of other poor students who are just trying to learn and get a decent job with a good pension. i'm going to move to a country with free education... and i thought canada was a free country, too bad only the rich really get ahead here...

sorry venting (oops ranting) needed.

skills i don't have

last night i was in stitches at work. i'm uncoordinated as many of you will know and many more of you find amusing. well i have a test for you. if you know how to twiddle your thumbs this will take it to the next level. while twiddling your thumbs your thumbs will be traveling in the same direction. so for an added challenge twiddle your thumbs so one is moving forward while the other is moving backwards. well as you can guess, i can't do it... much to rick's amusement i did try for the better part of 30min.... if you can do it... i want to see it!

what's the deal?

it seems to be the age old question that all singles hate.... "why aren't you dating anyone?" i would like to respond with "because dating is a waste of time and i want to be single and go through life all alone and just knit socks for my 200 cats until i'm 80." but that's not true(p.s. i'm not a big cat fan, but dogs wouldn't appreciate socks like a cat). the majority of my single friends all have the same complaints.

no offence to our happily married friends, and no offence to the children of our happily married friends, but being single completely sucks and a lot of us are jealous. this is not a world that is conducive to being single, many social occasions dates are deemed necessary. its only appropriate to bring your mum,dad, cousin, brother, friends (hot) brother (yes you crilly) as your date for so many years.

many times us singletons wonder "why can't i find someone?" (although i'm pretty sure i know why i'm single, more on that later). maybe we are being too picky, put we deserve to have someone that is great, not just ok, but wonderful. could it be that in the area where i live there is a lack of christians who would be considered dateable, that we either haven't dated, or one of our friends hasn't dated? one friend has suggested (must to my horror) that maybe we should start a blog looking for dates specifically just for fun (as in no pictures, no real names)... yes it would be fun, but would i ever venture to meet these people? no way.

i just look around at all my single friends, and i absolutely love them to death, and i know they deserve the best. and we want to have someone to share life with. but where are the people to date? if we all had $1 for everytime someone asked us is we were dating anyone i'm pretty sure we would all be living in more luxury. is there a solution? patience? getting everyone to invite their single christian friends to an event and have their single christian friends invite their single christian friends and hopefully have like 300 singles to meet? maybe a little desperate.

and yes i know why i'm single, its because i'm incapable of liking any guy that would actually be good for me. i instead insist on choosing guys who will walk all over me or treat me like dirt. but no more! not ever again! because i found my knitting needles and later i'm going looking for a stray cat!

p.s. thanks to all the crilly's who have been looking out for me this week, your the best siblings that i consider mine now!

who's in?

my friend has decided that possibly it would be a good idea to organize a trip into TO to help out with a soup kitchen or such. we are willing to organize such a trip if and only if YOU want to get in on it. so what do you think? it may be something other than a soup kitchen... i'll look into possible organizations we can help.... leave a comment and let me know.

what can we do?

how did we become such a passive society? and more importantly how did we become such passive christians? i know that i'll get into trouble for generalizing everyone, so excuse me, and to those that are above this blame you can help me.

hurricane katrina has caused a lot, a lot of damaged, people have died, people have lost everything. Relief has been slow to get to these people, and some people are angry and i don't blame them. 9/11 caused a lot of grief and a lot of suffering and we honour those people who were affected by this tragedy. but it seems that people are shaking their heads more and tsking at the loss because it is so published. i don't want to make light of these situations but....

everyday all over the world, even in my small town, people loose everything. they loose their homes, their family, they get ill. children all over the world wander and authorities just wait for them to die because they don't have resources for them. victim's of katrina will most likely receive aid to help them get back on their feet. the big easy may never exist again and their former inhabitants will have to find somewhere else to live. but what about those who are all around the world who have no where else to live? where they know that there aren't busses or army's or groups coming to pick them up so they can have a fresh start. these people have been on my mind for a couple weeks now.

in highschool i was more of an activist. i would stand up for these injustices, and try to make a difference. now, now i'm ashamed to say i haven't really done anything as of late. now i feel lost, like i don't know where to start. i see so many problems and i want to fix them all, but in know this is not possible. but i guess if i could just find one thing that makes a difference to someone, i would follow that.

i want to challenge everyone (including me), to make a difference. i'm not just talking financially because when i comes down to it i know a lot of people don't have money to give. i'm talking about donating some of that time that we all know we have that we waste in front of a tv, or strolling around a shopping center... or whatever you waste your time on. a couple hours a week, or a day a month, or something. if we all can do a little, it really does make a huge difference. we can do it, and i want to hear your stories!

and the toaster goes to...

a.d.d. has struck again, going to a conference over tired and caffinated was not such a great idea. so to all that were there who i annoyed, i'm very sorry. for all of those who i entertained, you're very welcome. for those of you who missed out, maybe some day i'll repeat it, you can count on that.

and on a side note, boi congrats on one life dream down, many many more to go!

i finally figured it out

i've never really cared for toronto. i like the city, i like how you can get almost anything there, i love the culture, there are soo many things i love about toronto but i find it exhuasting to be there. i really don't think its the amount of people, or how nothing seems to stand still, i really love other cities where all this occurs. but today i figured it out.

it turns out i find it exhausting to see all the people just asking for help. they are sitting there begging for help. whether it is monetary help they want, or they just want someone to listen. i find this exhausting. and i hope that does not sound like i think i'm above them all and i'm sick of hearing them, its quite the opposite. i feel useless, i can't give money to all of them, and this tears at my soul. i want to help, i have a need to help, but i don't know how i can help effectively. yes i could give the money i can, or i could donate my time to a shelter or what have you, but i have too many other commitments helping out other places that i don't see how i could fit it in too. i feel that anything i could do is just not enough.

sometimes when i look into the eyes of a person begging for money, i see a reflection of myself that i don't like. i see that i could be helping more, that i could be doing more, that i could be making more of a difference and in that i see dissapointment. when i look at the person sleeping on the street i see a child that someone has lost, i see a person who deserves more than anything to be loved, to be taken care of, and to have the opportunities that everyone should have.

i don't want to sound like this is all about me, because its about them. they are the forgotten, they are the people that society tries to hide, they are the so called eyesores. but really they are just hurting. they really do deserve more, and i'm ashamed of what i have that i don't need.

i'm sorry, i really am.

no more deals with God

so i don't know how many times i will think that i can make a deal with God and actually have it work. like duh! its not going to happen. but i've been trying to wait patiently and i was just thinking a sweet deal would speed things up... apparently deal making still isn't effective in this way. so, here God, i'm waiting again. more patiently this time... hopefully.


so i survived my 5 days at a cabin working. things went well, lots of relaxing and not doing much... really felt like a paid vacation most of the time. i went for a walk on the beach late one night, and i wish i took my camera, cause it was absolutely beautiful, cold but peaceful. now back to the grind of home... but oh how good it is to be home finally!

and bickey, congrats on the forth coming events of your life, i wish we were closer and that i could congratulate you in person. i still love you like a sister loves her brother and completely wish that we were still best friends.

on the road again....

after last weekends trip the last thing i want to do this weekend is drive far away and be away from my apartment for another night... but alas i have to go for work. so tomorrow jen, db and i take off for sauble beach. i will return on wednesday, so no new posts till then, unless i find an internet cafe out there.... or a stranger that will let me use their computer. so everyone, have a great week, i'll be thinking of you. and please pray for nice weather.... being couped up all weekend will not be a fun thing!

bye!

all boxed in

i was chatting with a friend today and we realized how backwards living in a small town is. if i currently lived in a larger area i would be considered "normal". i know this is hard for many people to think that i would be the epitamy of "normal" but you can stretch the definition a little.

1. if i lived in a larger city it would be "normal" and expected that at 23 i would be single, and not dating. i would be abnormal to be married with children at this age.

2.if i lived in a larger city my choice in clothing (aka my love for dumb t-shirts) would not only be "normal" but maybe even boring. if i wore clothes for one of the big chain stores that may be abnormal as everyone is trying to look so different that looking like someone else would be weird.

3.if i lived in a larger city it would not be abnormal for me to have at least 2 jobs, and be going to school. since i have a job and am going to school (yes, again) in the fall, and thinking of volunteering i would be "normal".

4.if i live in a larger city it would be "normal" to my non-christian friends that i don't want to party or sleep around and take part in the hickish things that only go on in a small town.

see, i can be normal, but then i don't think i would want to be seen as normal in a city, nor be normal in a small town. really i just want to be me. so please people stop putting your idea of normal on me (and i'm not pointing fingers, just feeling pressured but small town living). and yes its funny that people always try to set me up (which has never even come close even materializing into a date) but really i'm just figuring it all out and waiting for God to mold me into who he wants me to be. and for this reason, i am not content, and learning, and enjoying all that is in front of me.

well, at least the outhouse was pink on the inside

so 1800km driving and 8hours spent on a train and a mind full of amazing memories. kim and i experienced a lot in 4 days and we covered a lot of ground.

we arrived in sudbury thursday night just in time to make a trip to the townehouse for old time sake. it was great fun, we played some pool with only minor interuption from a group of tree planters. we were only going for an hour, but 3 hours later we dragged our butt back to todd's. we were up early the next day to start the next part of our trek.

basically, you can't go to sudbury without a visit to the big nickel, so that's what kim and i did... and we got there just in time to not have to pay for parking!!!! a beautiful start to the day.

3 hours later we arrived in timmins, and had a quick stop at wal-mart for extra supplies... funny thing about this wal-mart was the amazing parking lot. lets just say if you drove over 10km/hr you were guarenteed to bottom out, and to make things better it was raining... and cold!

we arrived in cochrane and weren't sure if my buddy mick knew we were coming, and after having to stop at a neighbour's house for directions we found mick and he was expecting us. mick had the most gorgeous trailer for us to stay in and a very very stinky outhouse, but at least it was pink on the inside. we spent a couple hours with mick that night drinking homemade wine and watching video's on caribou!

8:30 on the train to moosonee was a great morning. when we finally arrived in moosonee at 1pm noone was there to pick us up. that was half the fun. we stayed in the nicest b&b, and we were the last guests ever because they were closing down. we walked all around moosonee in about 30min, and it was cold and rainy so we watched movies all day. i also had to call my mum for money because they didn't take visa anywhere... ahhh!

on sunday morning we took a boat to james bay. it was specatacular, and we got to socialize with a whole bunch of old people! actually a lot of fun. we even saw a seal! we went to moosefactory on a bus tour and spend like 45min with this old lady in a teepee making bannock a tradition tea biscuit on the fire. we had like 3 hours to kill back in moosonee so we sat around and talked to a guy that was going camping on this little island.

on the trip home on the train we hung out with all our new friends and kim and i polished of a dinner and half each (i guess we were hungry). we ended up in the entertainment car with live music (a great lounge singer). we had such a great time. we talked to a couple people from moosefactory, one guy asked me if i was from moosonee because i looked familar... then he turns to me and says "hey i recognize you from the teepee!"

we stayed in timmins sunday night with glen my old boss, we had a great time catching up. monday morning i awoke to vaccuming at 6:45am! apparently the caretaker likes to clean the halls early in the morning! glen made us some breakfast... well ginger tea and i sang him the birdie song and kim and i started to make the long 9 hour drive home!

all in all a great trip! i'm exhausted and broke, and very satisfied with all the georgous scenery along the way! it was beyond beautiful up north, i would recommend you all take this trip!

just so you know i made it to lindsay

off to swim with polar bears

so tomorrow night at 4pm i'm heading off on my vacation for the summer. my friend kim and i are heading to mosoonee to explore the great north. it will be a quick trip with a lot of driving, but we are going to meet up with a lot of people along the way, so it should be fun. for those of you who care here is a loose iteneray of our trip.

thursday
4pm leave camborne
5pm pick up kimmy in lindsay
9pm arrive in subury to hang with meals and todd and the townehouse

friday
head to cochrane to swim with polar bears, hang with chimo and find some locals to hange with and a night in the trailer at micks

saturday
8:30am on the train to moosonee
1:00pm arrive in moosonee
rest of day exploring moosonee and moosefactory

sunday
hangout
5pm train back to cochrane
10pm head to timmins
11:30pm glens in timmins

monday
head for home... who knows if we will make it that day, it may be an extended vacation.... yeah!


over all we will be driving at least 24hrs of the 5 days away and travelling on train for 9hrs by train. hmmm lots of time to talk with kimmy

the attack of the tomato horn worm

so i looked out my window today and notice something a little different. there seemed to be many leaves missing from the top of the tomato plants. i went out for a closer look and realized that there was a servere infestation of those gross weird worms. les and i had spotted them a couple days earlier and i had poked one and it makes this really weird clicking noise.... scarey. in fact i believe les freaked out a bit.

if you know me, you would know that not much grosses me out, but these worms give me the willies. but they were going to destroy the tomatoes, since there was like 10 of them. so i did what any person would do, i grabed an oven mitt and a pair of scissors and started cutting them off the bush.... but what to do with them? so i pilled them on my deck leaving the decision of what to do for a later time. after i had removed all i could see i had this small pile of really disgusting worms on my deck clicking away and bobbing their heads. i know people who squish them... but they seemed really juicey so i couldn't do that. so i got a bucket and i filled it with water and i attempted to drown them. well those little suckers started fighting each other and bitting and there was gross green juice going everywhere!! and they wouldn't die... like 3 finally kicked the bucket but the rest wouldn't die!!! eventually i took them to the forest and dumped them out.

the worst part of it is that i know they aren't all gone and that they are living outside my window!! ewwww, save me... (officially acting like a girl right now, i'm so grossed out)

back to the basics

so i reread the caption under the title of this blog and realized i was way off track here. i'm suppose to be writting about those experiences in my day that are like hiccups, little mishaps that make life a little more interesting. so here goes, at least here i will try.

i went to a family reunion today. i know, i know, you are all thinking what a place for lots of mishaps. well this family reunion was special, see it was for my mother's, father's side of the family. i didn't even know that this side of my family existed until i was about 12 years old, and my papa passed when i was 16, so i haven't really seen a lot of that family. well in fact you may say i haven't seen any of that family... ever. well, my brother, sister-in-law and i were sitting around the picnic table when we realized were that one family, you know the one, the one family that shows up to a reunion and everyone is like "hey who are those people? are they really a part of our family, or are they just here for the food?" and if you know me your bets would be on the showing up for the food part. well lets just say at the end of the reunion i still didn't know anyones name, and i don't think i would recognize them if i ran into them on the street. so maybe it wasn't a reunion more like a meeting for the first time.

or right the hiccup. well this is the best part. we were reunioning at a water park so we were swimming. my nephew and i were on our way to the waterslides when the whistle was being blown in the kiddie pool. they had to get everyone out because apparently someone puked in the pool. well then i saw my brother and i told him what was up. well he started to laugh and he said "well are you sure it wasn't paige's poo that they kicked everyone out of the pool for?" so apparently my 2 year-old neice dropped a load right into the pool and it was shut down for the next 30min or so. displacing about 40 kids from their splash ground into the big pool. way to go paigie! when she does something she does it well, she must take after her aunt manda!

an ode to my dreads

most of you know that i have a love for dreadlocks. i loved my dreads, i miss my dreads and i want my dreads back. but, alas most of my close friends and coworkers have told me their incrediable hate for my dreads, not only do they not like dreads because they are seen as dirty and smelly, but some may think that i look horrible with them. but i love my dreads. i have gone back and forth on the issue of putting my dreads back in and even a month ago i had half my head in dreads that i removed again. but i have made a decision, in the fall of 2006 my dreads will be going back into my hair, and staying for a very, very long time.

why would people think my dreads were gross, they got washed every week, if not more. if they started to smell i put airfreshner in them. if they got fuzzy i would shave them. if they started to fall out i waxed them. if they went flat because i slept on them too much i tied pipe cleaners to them so they would stand straight up. i cared for my dreads better than i care for my car.

i just wanted you all to know, that i miss my dreads, and i think about them everyday. and no this is not obsessive.

if only....

i've been inspired lately to follow my dreams. i always had dreams but nothing really set in stone. but over the last months i have really come to realize what is important to me. the given is finding the man of my dreams and living happily ever after.... but what about where i want to be, what i want to be doing, and how am i going to do this all?

well if you would ask me where exactly i would like to live, it would be in some small community... and when i say small i mean a couple hundred people tops, with a couple small stores to get by with. hopefully this community would be pretty much in the middle of nowhere but maybe a larger town with in 1hrs drive, but i'm not too picky. my house would be beside a nice quiet lake, with woods surrounding it.

when i say house i don't think i really mean house... i would like more of a cottage like dwelling i believe. not very big, a couple bedrooms, a kitchen, a bathroom, a cold cellar, a living room and possibly a loft. i wouldn't want cable or a satellite, or a microwave. just the basics. i would love the house to run on wind and solar power and to be heated by a wood stove. i would have gardens all around the house and would save up the veggies and fruit and preserve it all for the winter. i want a nice porch that goes around most of the cottage with nice comfy chairs with lots of blankets to keep warm on fall evenings.

if possible i wouldn't want to work, just work around the house, raising kids, bartering my eggs and veggies for things we need (cause did i mention i definitely want chickens). i would love to grind my own flour, and have lots of bee hives. but if i did have to work (which is most likely) i would want to work outdoors, work in the woods or something like that.

really i think i just want to go back to the pioneering days and just work the land and be happy with having the people you love surround you.... now its just going to be hard to figure out how to make this all happen.

the perfect day

today started as one of those horrible, no good, rotten, very bad day's. i just felt lonely, like i had nothing really to look forward to, just a lazy day at home all alone. but i got up and went to church, my church which i normally don't do as of late, i'm more inclined to go to other churches to hide in the back. well i got to see so many people today that i love and it was unbelievable to see them and hug them. well i left church and i got that sinking feeling again like i didn't want to be all alone, sooo... i went and got some groceries, but i prayed along the way, i laid it on the line to God, like "dude, you got to send me someone today, anyone will do, i want company of some sort", i felt very confident that it would be ok.

so i got home and sat on my couch (cause its my favourite place) and started to watch tv. then i heard the tell tale signs of my landlords coming home. but much to my surprise there was a little face at my door... my little angel had come to visit, so we sat on the couch (after we had gotten suckers, and water with star and stick ice cubes) just cilling out. my little angel told me stories about her weekend and shared a couple licks of her sucker. we had a great visit.

just before her visit came to an end i got a phone call, i was invited to a bbq with some friends. it was to start at 5pm and i didn't have to bring anything. and shortly after my phone call my mother showed up with a sign "will work for cookies" my great mom had come to help clean my apartment. i love her, we worked side by side and got my place spic and span in no time at all (she got two cookies for the great job she did), just in time for me to shower and leave for my bbq.

the bbq was great, and after dinner we headed to the beach to watch shakespear in the park. like 9 of us hung out watching this play. then some of us rented a movie and headed back to my place.

to think i was feeling lonely this morning and then i wasn't alone all day for more than 1hour. thankyou everyone who helped me get through today, and thanks to God who answered my little silly prayer.

sorry about the time delay

tonight i went on an outing with t. we took his sister and friend up to toronto to meet his other sister. mmmm dinner at the pickel barrel.... but really service could never be slower. it could possibly be partly because someone thought he came from pakastan when he was really from india. opps. but really does it take 30 mins to get our checks... i don't think so.

latter on as the mall was closing t and i were walking by this sushi place and a guy was yelling out front...."closing sale, lousy sushi." well at least that was what i thought he was yelling but aparently it was "closing sale, yummy shushi" woh those accents sometimes throw me....

puzzle perfection

there's nothing more satisfying then finishing a puzzle that has perplexed many for weeks. YEAH TEAM!!!

the things i learned this weekend

i had planned a weekend full of absolutely nothing... and then i had a real surprise.
these are the things i learned...

1. if you don't make plans for yourself someone else will make them for you
2. the good movies are always on when you actually have somewhere to be, or the satellite dish will be out.
3. kids will always find you where you are and want to play for hours, just when you thought you were going to have a nap.
4. after a long sunny spell the sun will always hide when you are just about to tan.
5. when you have no plans, except for one important one that takes about 1/2 hour you can be guaranteed someone will call with plans that you would love to be included in that would last the whole day overlapping these important short plans.
6. someone you haven't see in weeks will show up and want to spend time with you which is ok, but you really had your heart on a bag of popcorn and a front row seat on your couch.

and finally,

7. all those little important things that you set aside time for (ie) writing letters, reading a book) will fall along the way side and forgotten for another day.

next time i want nothing to do all weekend... i'm going far far away...

my pet frog

i caught a frog the other night at work, he's a cute little frog. he's just a baby, but i'm afraid that he isn't eating so what to do? let him die in captivity or set him free? well i'm going for setting him free... i'm sad because i have always wanted a pet frog but i don't want to hurt him. i love my frog too much to hurt him. little freddie deserves a chance at life, not captivity... oh i'm sad but i'm sure i'll get over it some day. now if i got a frog from a store that was bred for captivity i would know what to feed him, and he would be use to store food and not know what to get in the wild... so maybe that's what i'll do is get one that is bred for captivity... i'm not really sure if i like ones that a bred for captivity, but then again i do want my pet, someone to always be here, someone to love.... and in the winter when bunny bunny comes to live with me they can be friends and we will be a happy family, well some what of a family, but i'll be happy.

oh on a side note to the face in the crowd, i actually counted the right number of potatoes the other night, i'm pretty sure you jinx my counting abilities.

i am part of a harem

what a wedding!!! i must say mexican weddings have got to be one of my favourite types of weddings. the bride - wearing a beautifully simple dress- was beautiful beyond words. the ceremony (outside) was short and sweet. the reception was fun and the wine plenty. the dance, well the dj didn't have to work to get people up to dance. we danced all night. it was so much fun, and the best fun of the night was that my friend lesley and i shared a date. and then another girl joined in and we started a harem. the lucky man is very handsome and fun to be with, we all danced up a storm, and the laughs were plenty. and the best part is that lesley and i are fighting over this particular guy and we will be ending our friendship over him.... and by the way les, he's mine!!!

car trips are draining

i've spent many many more hours in vehicles this last week then i have in a long long time. my butt is numb and i'm getting a trucker belly from all the greasy spoons. even though i just sat all day, why am i so tired? where does my energy go? can i get that energy back? how do truckers survive? why does 5am come so soon?

i'm going to a wedding tomorrow!! i'm really excited because, i may get to dance, i'm also excited because i'll actually get to hang out with my friends. but mostly i'm happy about the cake... i like cake.... just ask larry's family.

and then the chair ate her

well, nothing like a couple of relaxing days away at the cottage to make the world seem like a better place. it was a great time, so nice not to have a tv, a computer or running water to take up your time. well running water could have been useful but i guess not completely necessary. i'm a woodsy girl i can deal with outhouses and days with out showers. i loved fishing, or really just helping other's fish... if i could count the number of times i heard "amanda can you get this fish off my line" at one point i stopped and looked at my outfit. i was wearing a nice black skirt with a nice tank top, ripping worms in half and taking numerous fishies off of hooks... i turned to my friend and said "one day i'm going to make some guy really happy" really what guy wouldn't want a girl who could be all dressed up and have no problem getting a little dirty? really where are you?

inventions

i hear so many people say... "hey i think this would be a great invention" but they never do anything about it. for years everyone was like if your romote had a beeper then if you lost it, you could find it easly.... well i've gone and done it... my romote control, one of four, the most important one of four has mysteriously gone missing.... i can't find it anywhere. its so frustrating. i know i shouldn't be lazy i just have to go to the reciever and change the channel, but it makes it hard to plan what i have to tape becuase i can't see what's coming on later because i don't have my romote. if i had $5 i would pay you to come and find my romote!!!

when caffine becomes redundant...

working tonight my coworker and i were full of energy, but we felt like we needed a treat.... so what do you think we decided on? coffee of course! well if we weren't already doing cartwheels and laughing our butts off we then had this extra jolt of caffine to add to it all... not very bright, so for the rest of the evening we spent time extra caffininated, it was very amusing, especially when my coworker took to taking giant leaps everywhere he went... very amusing indeed.... but i'm not sure if this chain of events would have happened without the caffine, i'm pretty sure the coffee this evening was redundant.... but now i need to go for a run or something to get rid of this excess energy

the best thing about summer

you can wake up freezing in an ice cold enviroment and then remove the shapeless huge sweater as you leave the building making you look 100 times sexier.

the stress of it all

this past weekend i helped two of my friends prepare for their lovely wedding. i helped decorate the church, and on the day of the wedding i helped decorated the hall. i'm so happy for this couple, they had the sweetest ceremony (you can tell it was really good because i cried, and it takes a lot for me to cry at a wedding). the bride look more beautiful than words, the groom was just smitten with his bride, and everyone had the most amazing time. but i have started to think that the stress of getting to that point may be more than its worth. having people in tears at various points during the process, or having things not turn out exactly how you want puts a lot of stress on not only the bride and groom but on the families involved and also the friends too. the people attending the wedding usually have no idea of the problems that may or may not have occured but the pressure on the bride is termendous. this is not the first wedding i've helped with, i witnessed my sister in tears many many times in the days before the wedding. as much as i think i want to get married i'm not sure if i would want this kind of stress. maybe i'll just hire a wedding planner and then i just tell her what i want and let them worry about it, or maybe i'll just elope like i've always said. i would rather be totally relaxed in the days leading to my wedding... i think.... or would i feel cheated that i didn't get the whole stressful package? i suppose it really doesn't matter either way when i haven't mastered finding someone to date yet.... its all about those baby steps.

refocusing is often the solution to... what was i saying?

so i was focused at one point, and then i easily become distracted but that's ok. i have realized i can no longer focus on living up to societies ideas anymore... really i don't conform to any of their ideas in most areas so why would i think i could live up to them in other areas. really if i can't follow the rules for appropriate excetion of gases how do i expect to live up to the standard married by 30 kids by 35? so i'm now focusing on doing the exact opposite so i'm going to hold off on getting married until i'm at least 65 and maybe i'll have kids by the time i'm 80 that way i'll have lots of money and time to spend with them. plus kids always like their grandparents better so if i'm the age of "normal" grandparents, they might like me more.... hmmm this sounds like a great plan... also instead of getting a career i'm going to focus on being unemployed as much as possible so that i have a lot of free time to sit on my couch and buy scratch tickets... see its all about focusing on the right things, life is only going to get better now that i have these new goals to focus on... and in my spare time i can event and perfect helmets for squeeeeerils so that they don't end up brain dead.... life is great!!!!

stalker, i am not

the correct definition of stalker is:

stalker v. tr.
To follow or observe (a person) persistently, especially out of obsession or derangement.

seeing as persistently usually makes reference to more than one secluded occasion, and that there is absolutely no obsession of derangement. although some may argue the point of my derangement but seeing as i do not have a hidden stash of pictures or a shrine it would be safe to say i'm not obessive, derangement may just be a point of arguement. so since i don't exhibit 2 of the 3 signs it wasn't stalking. it wasn't even close to being a stalking, thus i am not a stalker. today was a one off boi so shut it... i am not a stalker!

the best things about summer...

you can buy a coffee, put it in your car, forget you have it and two hours later still have a pipping hot coffee! oh how i love summer.

4am and i'm running?

so i did the walk for the cure last night. this is a 12 hour relay race... or not really race but just walk. i had to work until 11pm so i arrived late but my team was gracious enough to allow me to do this. i was dying at work earlier and didn't think i would last until midnight. but i got into the swing of things and before we knew it, it was 3am... a lot of people were starting to drop off... but me, no way, i just wanted to run... it didn't hurt when i was running, just when i stopped... where did all that energy come from? its a mystery that's for sure. but by 6am i was toast, barely able to place one foot infront of the other... i guess my price to pay. my hips and legs hurt now but i have gotten a fairly good sleep and i'm ready to go!!! yeah out for an evening of fun!

how does one decide

how does one decide if the positives actually do out weigh the negatives to one certain situation? like if the far fetched idea would actually but a feezable idea... or that if you took one huge leap of faith that you wouldn't be completely crushed ifyou gave everything up to find that your plan would go completely sour... and how would one go about picking up those pieces... why must these difficult decisions always seem to make it easier to stay in the same rut that you have always been in?

does time stop when you enter a black hole?

its like i never left, the vactaion of my dreams never happened.... how can this be? where is all the fun? where are the good laughs and the laid back attitudes? i think really i just dont' belong here any more... i miss caring about the real things in life. i miss the idea's and opinions and the things that i was completly interested in in highschool... how did i ever become so passive? where did my passions go? if this is growing up, i'm defiently stopping, that's it tomorrow i'm going to revert back to my old self... you will notice, i'm sure... or maybe you won't...

where are the jobs?

it seems that any company or employer are looking for one of two things in an employee.... 1) they would like someone with at least 5 years experience, or 2) they want young blood straight from school with unbelievably specific training.... so it seems i'm up the creek either way... please where are all the jobs!

back in canada.... sadly

so i made it home yesterday... i'm a little sad, i really wanted to stay a little longer. it turns out the girl in belfast wasn't murdered... she just died mysteriously apparently. my last week in ireland was great fun, no dates with an irish guy, but lots of fun hanging out with relatives. if i had a choice i would find a job there, maybe i'll look for one. i'm exhausted from the travelling and the time difference and i'm having a hard time dealing with the lack of greasey, startchy foods. i'm sure my stomach will adjust sometime soon. my welcome home was great... a limo ride from lesley... you can say that an sunfire is like a limo when you see the size of cars in ireland, a great big beautiful sign from the family upstairs, and a fridge full of food from my mum... life is great!!!!

now work tomorrow... oh sad...

ok, here's a real post

so, i was at the hostel but couldn't check in for a couple hours so i went on a bus tour... much fun, the youngest by quite a few years. i was suppose to stay in belfast over night, but a slight incident at another hostel has prompted me to go back to the relatives instead.... seems that a girl was murdered last night... but do not worry i am ok, safe and secure. I just finished a bus tour of the city it was very educating... they are putting a big empahsis on peace here and its great to see.

so to catch up on the last week of events. I went out to the aran island of inishere... it was beautiful... gorgeous views of the main land and not very many people. there were rock walls everywhere i mean everywhere. so i spent two days on the island and had a great time with some guys from dublin... they were at least 20 years my senior but they were a blast. they took me out for dinner on the island... lets just say an island of 300people doesn't have very fancy dinning... pull up a stooll to the bar and that's as gourmet as its going to get. thursday morning i had to leave at 8am for the main land and i was looking forward to a grueling 8hour day of travel... sick! but my thank heavens i ran into a nice canadian girl and she was travelling the same way. we spent the whole day together laughing our butts off.... thank goodness, and we did some impulse shopping... i can't wait to show everyone my nice new irish hat.

yesterday i spent time meeting new relatives... it was a great day!!! so many happy people, so many people to remember, i'll be seeing them all this friday at a wedding party!! it should be a grand event. more people are making their way in, in a couple nights that i get to meet... fun times. some of my relatives are trying to set me up with a nice irish guy for the wedding... or maybe even a date... who knows.

so, everyone calm down all is good here on my end... i miss you all, and will be home in a week... which makes me a little sad.... i'm having such a great time.

i'm so, so, sorry this has taken so long to repost ,and the computer i'm on won't let me write anything besides a title, i'll get on another computer

one hour sleep never a good idea.

so, i travelled from rathdrum on the east coast to galway on the west coast. it was a lovely bus ride, and really quite cheap in comparison to canada. but i have decided that travelling on only one hour of sleep is not too much fun... remembering for future reference. and if you are wondering about the one hour sleep i'll continue to let you wonder, travelling is fun! i'm in a hostel over here for tonight and then i'm off to a little island for two nights... i'm not sure if they have internet available over there so you may be with out me for a couple days... you can manage i'm sure. don't worry, i'm not and take care of your selves.

and then i went splat...

so, yesterday after the grooling bike ride and after i posted here, i got talking to the owner of this internet place... he offered to take me out to a real irish pub for some pints. the only catch we couldn't leave until after 10pm. but i made it, the music, the atmosphere was great!!! it was so funny, everyone there was drinking bud... oh my. i got back to the hostel really late but we made plans to take off at 7:30 the next morning so i could see all the good sites. it was amazing, we went all across the country side... i saw backroads that i didn't think you could fit one car down. i saw the sally gap, these group of mountains with a lake in the valley it was beautiful. but we had to cross a little rough ground before we could get to view the lake, well, i was wearing my flipflops cause i like them, and it was a little muddy and that's right i slipped and fell on my butt, and i was covered in mud for the rest of the day. i was soaking wet... but to most this would be a surprise that i would fall... oh my life. but i trucked on, we made our way to glendalough to see a lake that i missed yesterday... and i'm glad i got to go back, its sooo beautiful here. we carried on to see a big rock that use to be in western ireland but now is here in easteran ireland on the top of this huge hill.... the view was amazing you could see for miles. then we went to the coast to the irish sea. the sea was very peacful. then a sort trip to the store, i waited in the car due to my clothes, and then we went to the meeting of the waters. all in all i got to see a lot of the area that most people don't yeah for meetin locals. after a short lunch and making friends with some fellow hostler's from poland i had a well desereved nap, then off for some hiking in a magnificent forest... what a great day. i must look hungry or something, i stopped for coffee and piece of cake, and the chef then brought me out another piece for free... or maybe its just because i'm hot

wait a minute

so, i went out on a cycling adventure today... i didn't really want to but i thought i should get my butt into gear. i rented a bike... no helmets to be rented, oh my, so i set out anyways. i was headed to a small place called glendalough, the home of an acinet monastric settlement. the ride would be over 16km.... and after 2km i thought i was going to die... i'm not in shape, and i'm riding on a narrow, twisty, no where to go road. but i made it all the way and back. and glendalough was worth it... it was sooo beautiful in the valley between some mountians. it was breath taking thats for sure. well, it only rained a couple times on my ride in... but the sun was shinning the rest of the time. at one point while i was at glendalough it started to hail, and then cleared and there was beautiful sun shine, and hot weather.... it just goes to show... if you don't like the weather... wait a minute

the adventure begins.

so, today i took off on my own.... all alone, no one with me... don't worry mum, i'm safe and sound. i've made the trip to rathdrum on train and found my hostle and i'm renting a bike for tomorrow to go cycling. so all is well. and those of you rooting for the boys, i met some fine looking ones today. its a long story, but they ended up sitting with me on the train, even though there were many other available seats... and no i didn't invite them. two cuties from swedan... travelling with their dad. very nice people indeed... next year i'm going to swedan!!! so for the next three days i'll be staying in rathdrum and then i'm making my way across the country to galway for a night and tuesday i'll be staying on a island for 2 nights and hopefully i'll be home in nothern ireland by thursday night to do some laundry. so all is good here, we are having a wee bit of rain, and its a wee bit cold.... but all is good!
later

i'm really here!

ok, so i'm in ireland... hard to believe, sometimes i just think i'm still in canada with people that have accents, but not the case. i arrived safetly without much problem. so yeah, transat is discounted for a reason, i had to pay for the headphones and for the drinks... my only saviour was the fact that there was one empty seat on the plane and it was next to me!!! the luck of the irish i guess... i met some nice people on the plane who going home for a visit. i was lifted at the airpot without a problem, but this driving on the opposite side of the road is a little confusing. my family is great, very welcoming. my one cousin gillian and i have made plans to go to the coast in the last couple days i'm here. i'm also going to a wee wedding... hehehe they say wee and i all the time. i'm very excited to be here, and i'm excited to start off on my own, but also a bit nervous. tomorrow i'm meeting a girl from the states and possibly we may backpack for a bit together. who knows. yesterday i had the pleasure of haning out with my hosts bessie, and jim's grandkids. they were very cute. we took two of them for a walk (3 miles) and i got to see some of the country side. i also had a wee nap... very refreshing but i was up late and poor bessie i think see was tired and she stayed up with me. so far so good. not very home sick although i do miss everyone and i miss having my computer at my disposal. so tonight i will finish planning and tomorrow i may be off for my first little excursion. tonight i also get to meet more relatives, and jim and bessie's daughter and her husband and wee one are coming for tea (supper). it should be a fun night. it rained yesterday for the afternoon but the morning was down right hot. today is sunny but cold... it suppose to rain this weekend... yeah! later

ok, i'm gone

i'm leaving tonight at 11:30pm on a flight to ireland, i won't be back for like three weeks. i'll try to keep all you that are concerned updated fairly regularly... but don't be alarmend if i don't post very often. don't worry i'll be fine, and if last night was any indication i'm in for a great trip... later

note of whats to come

just so everyone that reads this blog is aware, i will be leaving for ireland on sunday. so officially this site will be updated when i get a chance with info from my trip. for instance i may inform you all that i am alive in well... disapointing to some, exciting for others. but really this site may actually have interesting blogs in it for once...

which way please

today i sat contemplating many things. one question that keeps me occupied in thought is, are our destinies predetermined? or do the choices we make everyday alter the rest of our destiny? we have free choice and will, and some will argue that God ultimately knows what we will choose thus our destiny would be predetermined, but what about changing our minds? was the original decision the right one, or the second one, or maybe when we switched back? if i choose something really bizarre tomorrow, out of character even for me, would that have been predetermined, like if i decided to buy a cowboy hat... not likely to happen but i could decide that i'm sure? not too sure... and i would really like the chance to treat life like one of those choose your own story story books, where you can cheat and read all possible outcomes and then decide the one you like the most.

once again cobourg is dumb

so a big plastic factory in my town went up in flames today. spreading tons of toxic gas into our atmosphere, our breathing air and the air of many towns east of our town. for those of you that don't know our town of cobourg is neighboured by port hope which has a huge uranium plant. for all of our safety we should have a very precise and effective evacuation plan ready to go. in the case of a disaster like this the town should snap into action and have everyone evacuated to safety. i could see the flames from the fire from 15 km away and i could see the smoke from even further away, a big pillar of jet black smoke. it looked as though we had a nuclear bomb go off in the middle of town. even the average joe would know how toxic the smoke would be. some not all but some of the neighbouring schools were evacuated, some but not all of the neighbouring business's were evacuated, and some but not all of the roads were closed that neighboured this factory were closed, and one section of houses were evacuated but only a small fraction of those that should have been. it is now 7 hours after the start of the fire and my fair town is still deciding if it should evacuate. this should have been decided in the first 20 mins of the fire. we are playing with peoples lives... people are trusting the cobourg officials to make decisions for their safety. plastic fumes are some of the most toxic fumes out there, and the cobourg officials have let people live in these conditions for hours. a carbon monoixide alarm went off at work and one of the employee's took it outside to see where the safer place would be and outside it had a reading of 600... this is far beyond dangerous. i really hope that the town of cobourg is ready to deal with the fall out because of this. guarenteed there are going to be many health issues stemming from this fire and i hope that cobourg is ready to compensate for these health issues. i had to go into town and i could smell the fumes when i entered town and i was upwind from the factory, soon after entering town i got a major headache, and i was only there for a short period of time. i'm sorry for all those people who live on the wrong side of the fire, and i'm especially feeling sorry for those who no choice but to stay in the effected area (ie brookside inmates, elderly). and i definitely feel sorry for those who are now out of a job.

worstest day ever...

so, i travelled to see my good friend meals before she heads back to sudbury. she made me this awsome great dinner... mmm chicken.... mmm cauliflower.... good stuff. so we decided that the best thing to do was go shopping, so we headed out to vaughan mills mall for some serious shopping. so we're driving along in jaun (my sunfire), minding our own business, stopped at a light (cause that's what we do here) and out of no where a huge lexus suv decides that it likes my car so much (sunfire jealousy is very serious i hear) that the suv decided to kiss my car really really hard. much to my surprise not all kisses are good. my poor little sunfire's butt got pushed right in, and now one of its door just doesn't feel up to opening anymore, but do not worry my trunk is making up for it by refusing to close. stupid suv didn't even have a stratch on it.... but i least i know my car attracts rich people, from texas. after a short trip to the shopping centre we like to call collision central and much harassment from hairy, scuzzy, short, drunken tow truck drivers we made it back to meals apartment.... with our trunk flapping in the breeze. now i have a $500 deductable to look forward to, and 4 recently purcahsed out of 6 beverages now soaking into my trunk... i think this has been the best hiccup as of late... now for a night out... walking... poor poor jaun needs a little time to recoup after his lovefest. and don't worry meals and i are only suffering from a minor to mediocore case of whiplash... i will survive!

greatest day ever!

so today was my last day of work... well one of two jobs. i was sad to go, but excited that i only have to work one job from now on. no more doubles!!! last days are always fun, you get to slack off, and you don't care what you do against the rules cause hey, you won't work there in a couple hours. to top it all off a very cute merchandiser hit on me... that was great. today is my last double for a long time... and i'm actually looking forward to doing it. on a more fun note, i got my first rejection letter... apparently if you don't finish the application process to ryerson university they won't let you in... i think i knew that but i had to check for sure, sometimes they lie. now i'm just waiting for the two other rejection letters that i'm sure are to follow... note to self stop applying to school's and then changing your mind. someday i'll be more decisive.... i wonder when that will be? maybe today... oh wait nope.

where does money go?

i'm almost certain there is a black hole sucking my money out of my bank account... does anyone know how to fix it? on a more positive note, i have started having nightmere's about travelling alone... are there still people trying to take over old castles in ireland... cause there were in my dreams.

one angry dwarf

i love my close friends, they are there for me when ever i need them... good or bad. most of the time you know you can count on those people who are really close to you. i'm really blessed with other great friends that i'm not so close to. i have a lot of people who i may not see for a long time and i know i can count on them. i called one of these friends the other night to help me move a piano, and he was soo great. he not only said for sure that he would help me, but he also inlisted 3 more of our friends (some of which i never see anymore) to come and help out. i guess sometimes i don't stop to think about how lucky i am. i complain about being bored or that i don't have the things i want, or that i'm sick of not having a boyfriend... but i shouldn't really be thinking of those things i should be sitting there thinking of how lucky i am to have so many people in my life that love and care about me.... and now i have my piano, so how could i ever be bored again? so thankyou to all my everyday friends, and thankyou to those friends who i lose contact with but every once in a while get to enjoy the full benifits of great friendship!

and a thankyou to leering man

today i learned a couple things... first, don't stress at a job that you are going to be quiting in like a week. second, you can work with an exboyfriend's new girlfriend as long as you keep your distance, but i may be hard to pass on messages to her. and thirdly, the new person will always show up early and make the fact that you are five minutes late again really, really obvious... which brings us back to the frist thing i learned, don't stress at a job that you are going to be quiting in like a week. and a big thankyou to the leering man who didn't leer today... hey leering man are you reading this site or are did someone finally clue you into the better practices of picking up?

caffeine can't be my friend anymore

last night was a rough night at work, i was soo tired and feeling like crap on a stick. so, one staff was going out to timmy's and picked me up a cup of coffee which i was ever so grateful for. well i drank the coffee and had taken my last round of cold and sinus hoping to regain some normal feeling to finish the night of work... do you think that happened? no. it didn't. i left work 1 hour early cause i felt like crap, this was 2hours after the coffee. but once i got home it hit me... all of a sudden my nose felt clear and i was wide awake... the caffeine had kicked in. so i'm up talking to my brother on the phone till midnight and i thought now i can sleep. then my friend phones me and we chat until 2am, and for sure now i could sleep, but no. then i tried on the entire contents of my closet (what was i thinking with some of these clothes) but i still wasn't tired... so i finally took some nyquill in hopes that would lull me to sleep, which it did at 4am. and do you think i slept in this morning? nope... go figure.... naps are a must today.

first contact...

i recieved an email today from my relative in ireland... so excited to hear from them. i wrote them a letter last week to talk to them about me coming on may 1st. it will be sooo much fun to think in 18 days i'll be leaving for ireland for 3 weeks, and i have no official plans. all i know is that someone will pick me up from the airport and that i will have a place to sleep for a couple nights at least. i'm a little nervous travelling alone for the first time, no more safety net... but then its exciting cause i get to go and do as i please without anyone to answer to. yeah! can't wait... now if i could only get rid of this cold....

so head stopped floating

my head came off its advil induced high and became clear when i switched to another brand. not so much fun, but i can accomplish something now, which in view of my recent two day sleeping spell means i have a lot to do which is even less fun. i'm still trying to figure out where i was going with the organization in my apartment but i'm sure it was something spectacular... i'll just have to start again and maybe i'll recognize something. work tonight was fun especially when the drugs started to wear off and i didn't know whether i hurt or was just getting cranky... work was especially fun when i found myself sitting on the floor infront of the oven to watch my scalloped potatoes cook... cause they like to be watched i'm sure of it. ok, i need to get rid of this head problem so i can do something useful in the next week... too much to do to slack off... someone kick my butt into gear for me?

big floating head.

in the past i was against taking medication to make myself feel better when i'm sick. well i am suffering from some unknown sickness that makes my head feel like it is going to explode... some sort of head cold i'm sure. so wanting to try to get some stuff done today i took some cold and sinus drug hoping for the best. all it seems to have done is make my head seem like its floating and make everything feel like it may not be completly clear. it no longer feels like it may explode but then again i don't know if i can feel my head.... which brings me back to the question, is it better to feel like crap or to feel nothing and not be able to think clearly.... hmmm which is better?

the bestest day ever!!

every female will tell you that there are a couple things that really important to her. in my case they are friends and shopping. two of my good friends and i got together and went on a 6 hour shopping extravaganza... this was great. my one friend scooby i hadn't seen for like 3 years and it was great to see her!!! what a day!! and its still going!! i love life

the time the skid came in.

i'm currently visiting my good, good, fiend meals! we are reminising about the good ol' day spent in sudbury. we are thinkin of making the 4hour drive tomorrow to relive the fun times we had. we will visit the townehouse, where alll the employee's took real good care of us. a lot of our good memories keep us going. the amount of dude's that had crushes on us, the way they took care of us, or how they gave us special treatment, or the fact that we were considered the "fun, safe" girls of the townehouse. this trip would go down in history as another stupid event that we thought up. if only we could turn back the clock and know what we do now.... there would be more guys that we would have made out with just for fun, and some guys that we would have just ignored all together. we wouldn't take back those days for anyting, but if we could do it all overagain, the guys is sudbury would be in a lot of trouble. how much fun would life be if we could go back and do somethings over again... and to the skid of the townehouse.... why would you cut your hair? now you can't be the skid.

steel toed boots

crap, lots of crap piled onto previous crap that was decaying every so smellily. that would be the best description of today's ever wonderful events. i just have one major problem that is still bothering me. why must gross guys leer? i was standing around a table at the work speaking with my boss about the current events of the our lives, when out of nowhere these construction guys walked by. most of the time i wouldn't pay much attention but my boss was like "hey manda that guy is checking you out" i was like cool until i turned and saw him, he wasn't looking at me he was leering, creepily leering at me. it was really weird, it was like he was trying his hardest to seduce me with his eyes but he had these beady little eyes that were creepy. i tried to ignore him but he wouldn't stop looking at me, he turned the corner still looking at me, it was like he had this radar that let him know where to turn and how to avoid other people, he just kept looking at me. why? why? why? why would guys think this is impressive. if you weren't so sketchy construction guy i would just tell you its much easier to make a good impression if you just walk up and say "hey." take the hint guys its more with the mouth and less with the eyes, and if i catch any other guys eyes gravitating to my ass or chest i will kick you with my steel toed boots.

frozen yogurt scam!

so today it only took 2 trips to timmys to get me through the day. a short nap in the afternoon helped me get through the rest of this grueling 14hour work day. but, there was one more thing that kept me going and that was knowing that at 11pm tonight when i stepped through my apartment door i could head straight for the freezer and get myself a huge bowl of chocolate frozen yogurt. i was beyond excited for this, who wouldn't be? all day long i focused on the bowl of frozen yogurt...mmmm...possibly with berries of some sort on top... i'm still drooling just thinking about it. well when i walked through the door this evening i made a bee line for that freezer and right away something was wrong i just knew it. i looked in the freezer and there were frosticles hanging from everything.... oh crap!! apparently my freezer door had been ajar today defrosting everything. so i thought that maybe it was still all good, no, no it wasn't my chocolate frozen yogurt is like soup..... crap! oh well the vanilla pudding i had instead was ok but another perfectly good day ruined by a stupid hiccup.

the classic hiccup

so, like any busy person its all about scheduling. making sure you have enough time to fit everything you need to do into the hours provided in one day. well that's what i do, you 64 hours to work this week, 56 hours after tonight 7 hour span between tonight and the start of my work day tomorrow so approx. 5.5 hours of sleep, great! that's just enough. all is going well the night was looking great, everyone happy, everyone doing what there suppose to do, just wait until 11pm and i'm out the door. until, 15min before departure and the hiccup occurs.... one person not doing what their suppose to and now its 40 mins past the time that i'm suppose to leave which means 40 mins less between work periods and 40 mins added to my already hectic work week. this now leaves me under 5 hours to sleep with 14 hours of work to put in tomorrow. will i make it? well of course. will i make it without timmy's? no, most likely not, i'm guessing that i'll visit timmy's at least 3 times tomorrow just to make up for this one hiccup. i don't even think that the 40 min of pay will make up for the 3 timmy's stops tomorrow. i especially love that i have only won 3 times rolling that rim when i've been there every day since it started, maybe the luck is just not with me. what a great start to a great week, now all i can hope for is that this hiccup will not be repeated at any other point during the week, and then i can pretty much be happy. now to go find that 4 hours sleep.

the first

so my friend tells me that the whole blogging thing is a great way to let out frustrations, or just to complain about your best friends without them ever knowing. well then sign me up!! no seriously this blog is going to be nothing special just a place to let loose, hey you don't know who i am so i'm not really going to hate you for anything you think about me.

so i leave my nice little apartment in like 29 days to head off to ireland for the trip of a lifetime. i officially have decided not to make any plans and just wing it when i get there, it seems too much trouble to worry about details right now. i may make a couple plans but nothing serious cause the plans will just change anyways. i'm excited to take off but i think i may be just as happy becoming hermit in my apartment as these crazie ass weeks of work like 64 hours will be the death of me. but seriously i picture myself a month from now sitting in some sketchy little pub with a whiskey watching some band and thinking to myself "this is the life!" and best of all i'll be making it on my own, and no one will know me. how great will that be?