2006-01-22

the conspiracy theory

there is a conspiracy against us. and who are the us i am talking about you may ask... well its us single women living on their own. and who exactly has the conspiracy against us? well i'll tell you!

its the companies that are manufacturing jars and containers. the ones who manufacture jars and containers that are almost impossible to open. and i'm sorry to admit it but i will, girls are usually weaker than boys. especially girls with weak wrists. as some of you may know i have weak wrists (even though i reign supreme at thumb wrestling). well i'm sick and tired of not being able to get into my pickle jars or that jar of spahgetti sauce, its just not fair.

when i'm at a loss and can get in i feel that the jar companies are laughing at me, and poking fun at me and saying "if only you had a man around, then you could enjoy our lovely product". they are against us, against us all! and what can we do about it? nothing really. i once heard of a girl who had pickles around her apartment for 2 years and could never find anyone to open them (i swear this is the truth). she finally took a pity date just so he could open the jar for her.... that she had to do that is absolutely disgraceful.

and another thing, by creating these jars to be sooo hard to open it is forcing the single girls to pump iron and train to build the muscle power needed to open the jars. this is just breeding a generation of butch girls, and really now we are being messed out of the chance of finding a great guy, cause lets face it, guys want girls who are "girly", and "needy", and what would we need the guys for if we could open the jars ourselves? ahhh!

please i just want easy open jars!

p.s. even though i am not single i am considered single in this situation as i can not drive 3.5hrs to get my boyfriend to open the jar and then drive back... that's just not environmentally friendly!

p.p.s. save the environment recycle

2 comments:

L.Bo Marie said...

I'm glad you added the P.S. at the end... I was getting P.I.S.Sed at you for breaking up with your boy and not telling me! lol

Crilly said...

There's a trick to opening those jars without the need for some muscle bound weirdo (a.k.a; guy or butch girl). Hit the edge of the lid with the back of a knife in the direction of the spin. Do it a few times around the lid. It should loosen it just enough to open.